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2009-06-09 > 11:59 p.m.

The Amazing Pecking Horse

They put me on Cherry, the Amazing Pecking Horse. Cherry was a little tired and hungry and wanted to establish who was in charge (she was, but you don't want a twelve-foot-tall horsemonster to know that kind of thing), and would suddenly throw her face groundwards at inopportune moments as though she simply HAD to eat something RIGHT NOW or she'd SIMPLY COLLAPSE. All part of the power struggle, of course, and I did my best to communicate a nice, firm "Oh, no, you don't" via the bridle, just to maintain the fragile illusion that I was in charge here, thankyouverymuch. In revenge, Cherry's downward tugs became more sudden, jerking me forward each time with an undignified "HWOIGH!"

I couldn't help forming the impression that could she speak, her exact words would have been:

"The only thing that stands between me and your gruesomely-crushed-spinal-column death is years of fucking training."

Yeah, and an aversion to the glue factory, bitch!

If we had been of the same species there would totally have been a spectacular equine smackdown.

OK so overall I had fun, and Cherry wasn't too bad. She's a thoroughbred and apparently used to be a racehorse ... though with a name like Cherry and legs like those, I suspect that racing wasn't her only source of income - if you know what I mean.

Oh SNAP, slapperhorse.

---

Things that made me happy over the long weekend:

- The fact that Pigeon's horse was a whopping great standardbred called Tigger.



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