I should probably update about the job, but now probably isn't the best time to do that, as I have had a relatively crap couple of days, so I doubt I'd be painting the job in its best light. The people are really nice though, and I have been given a couple of small projects to look after, which is pretty cool. One of them is going completely smoothly; the other one has made me want to smack my head (or better, someone else's) against a wall. It was supposed to be so simple! What do you mean it's already been edited? If it were edited I wouldn't have had to spend nine hours of my already busy work schedule sitting there proofreading it, would I? What clown did you pay to "edit" that manuscript?!

Yeah, see, that's why I probably shouldn't be introducing my new workplace in this entry. Still, it's not just me - EVERYONE is crazily busy. I don't mind being busy; it's just that my present busy is the kind of busy I hate - the kind that is a direct result of other people. I'll stay back to get my work done if need be, but I start getting a bit pooey when I have to stay back to help someone else do theirs. My problem is that I can't say "no" (though I suspect I have a pretty good "I'll-help-you-but-just-so-you-know-I'm-really-put-out-by-it" look).

Overall, it's a good job, but I can't wait to be promoted to - well, anything higher up than "assistant", really. It starts with "ass", so I suppose the only way is up.

Sign I recently noticed on a door:

I started trying to learn German recently. I've started trying to learn German at least twice before, but have always kind of forgotten about it after a couple of weeks. This time I've got a very helpful book, and I seem to be sticking with it. I don't really know much German yet, but then again, I am working through it very slowly. I'd rather get a really good understanding of the basics before I try taking it too far.

I downloaded a children's h�rspiel last night to listen to in the car, thinking that a children's story would be easier to understand than, say, the German world news. I wasn't far wrong, but I wish that German narrator would stop putting so much light and shade into his voice. Stop whispering, Idiko! If you have something to say, just SAY it!

So ... at this stage I'm on a 25% comprehension rate. Of a story for small children. I'm getting there, I suppose.

The mildly meaningful bit

I have lived a very safe life - had a few adventures, studied in France, snowboarded in Europe and Canada, bobsledded on an Olympic track, had a bit of a poke around Slovakia and Slovenia ... but overall, a very safe little life, with a mortgage and a job. This is at once satisfying and disappointing. I use it to allow myself to feel smug when I see someone else making stupid choices and then ending up worse off for them. I think to myself, "see, if only they'd been more sensible. Like me." When you're a bit insecure within yourself, you tend to think nasty little things like that from time to time.

But then I see people going overseas, living and working in strange lands, experiencing life in a way that I never have, and I realise that for all my sensible financial choices there have been other sacrifices. Opportunity costs, if you like. I have never really been broke. I was never game enough to put myself in that situation. It really takes a daring person, an adventurous person, to say, "money isn't important", and mean it. Live it. Sometimes I wish I could be that person, but I know that if I lived that way, I would only regret it later when I was 30 and broke. Part of me keeps comparing myself to other people, even if I try not to let that show. It doesn't help that Daniel and I both went to selective high schools and are surrounded by overachievers.

As a compromise, I take my adventures in baby steps, with a long-term view of not ending up like my grandparents. They survive on a government pension, and can't really afford to go anywhere or buy much. They live in a quiet suburb where there isn't much to see or do, and they don't have any friends who live nearby. They complain about money. Me, I want to build up a superannuation account and buy more properties. I want to be able to travel when I get older. Keep experiencing life. When I'm retired, what am I going to do? Sit on a porch for 30 years?

But then, is that worth 40 years of full-time work and saving?

It's true what they say about Librans. We see the good and the bad in everything, and it can make it pretty hard to pick which side we're really on.

My fitness, I decided, was therefore probably not at its peak. And I was never that fit to begin with, even when I did dancing. So I thought: why not get on the exercise bike two or three times a week, just for half an hour? Throw on a DVD or listen to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy on my iPod, easy. I used to ride for half-hour stretches a couple of years ago, when I wanted to keep fit before a snowboarding trip to Canada, and that wasn't so bad. That never hurt at all.

Oh yeah. I am WAY less fit than I used to be.

I mean, it was cold, and that probably made my muscles a bit more tense than they should have been, and I didn't warm up beforehand, but the amount of effort it took to make myself keep pedalling was, frankly, embarrassing. My pulse went through the roof, my thighs were starting to ache, and I was huffing and puffing, thinking ... is this really me? When did this happen? After about 15 minutes I was better and my legs were happier, and now I am motivated to do this three times a week so that I can get fit again and pretend I was never in such poor shape.

He also has a weird high-pitched laugh.

Think: the freako-feminist Julianne Moore artist-lady's assistant in Big Lebowski.

By the way, I saw the Transformers movie with Daniel last night. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it.