The situation was that I found out my manager's new gentleman friend's name. It's something of a new and funky-sounding name; let's go with "Zane". Not bad for a sixty-something.

Now, what I was trying to express was my surprise that inter-generational trends in the naming of children seem to have come full circle, and that the names that are thought of as new and unusual now have in fact been around before and are simply making a return.

What actually came out of my mouth was a jibbering piece of stupidity more along the lines of: "wow, I didn't know old people could pick cool names".

I'd like you to imagine, for a moment, how you think that might have sat with my manager.

The English language, she slapped me pink and left me out in the sun to burn.

Yesterday, once again, I pulled a ten-hour workday. I was on my way home, feeling surprisingly cheerful given the length of my day, when I remembered that it was my turn to cook and I hadn't taken anything out of the freezer. I put my phone on hands-free and called home (in case you all thought I was driving and talking illegally) with the intent of asking Daniel to take something out for me to cook.

D: Oh, it's OK. I've already started cooking something.
Me: Really? I mean, I'm happy to cook if you get something out.
D: No, no, it's fine. I've already started.

And it gets better!

D: Oh, and I'm drawing you a bath as well.
Me: Really?
D: Yeah. It'll be ready for you when you get home.

Now, if real life were a little more like a cheap DVD player, it would freeze here and refuse to play the rest of the show. Sadly, real life is an expensive piece of equipment and stops for no man. The show continues.

D: Yeah, I thought - if she's home this late, she's going to be in a pretty bad mood. (Brightly) So I drew you a bath.

It scares me a little to think what kind of innocently honest statements of fact I am going to hear about myself when we eventually have offspring, who will actually be young enough to not know better.

But dinner was lovely, and I fell asleep in the bath for so long that when I woke up there was a deep indentation and a purple mark on my hand where it had been resting on the tap handle.