The thing is, on its own, my body clock couldn�t stick to a timetable if I coated it in glue. It�s why my doctor initially put me on the pill � �irregular� would be an understatement. I don�t think I need to elaborate here. So, I�ve been on the pill since I was about 18 years old, and since then my body has been like clockwork at least in one department.

Except yesterday.

Again, I don�t think I need to elaborate here; the phrase �pregnancy scare� ought to cover it. By the end of the night there wasn�t even a sign, and I was panicking. I had an awful night�s sleep, and I probably shouldn�t have had that cup of coffee after dinner because it really wasn�t helping my nerves. Daniel was probably panicking on the inside, but he didn�t show it. He tried to comfort me but because he didn�t look as scared as I felt, it didn�t work. It just felt like a �there, there� � even though it wasn�t. So not only did I feel scared, but I felt alone too. Nonetheless I cried onto his chest until I fell asleep. This morning there was still no sign, and all I could say was, �I don�t know what to do�.

I was so scared. I don't often admit that I'm feeling scared or lost, but I really was.

I know it was probably a bit soon to get worried, but my body is usually� �on time� these days, to within a few hours.

I also know I�m not the first person to go through this, and in fact a schoolfriend of mine accidentally fell pregnant a few years ago � aged 21 � and decided to keep it. She�s now a proud mum and she loves her son (and her boyfriend is still with her), but I can�t even begin to imagine what she must have gone through. One of Daniel�s cousins fell pregnant last year, and she was only 19 or 20. She kept her baby too. I never appreciated how much courage that took until last night.

But � eventually, later this morning, there came �the sign� and I was so relieved I cried again (and they say big girls don�t cry). Daniel said �oh, thank God for that� and gave me a huge hug. �I�d prefer not to go through that again,� he said. �Not unless it�s �yay! You�re pregnant!�� I looked at him with tear-blurred vision and sniffled pathetically. �That won�t happen for a few years yet.�

Fingers crossed anyway.

You know, Daniel later said (with a small grin), �I was kinda proud of my boys too � I thought I had �ber-sperm.� ��ber-sperm?!� �Yeah! Like, there was a 99.9% chance that no sperm would make it through, but my boys made it. I was proud of them.� I hit him.

General Manager was talking to me the other day about his intention to buy out half of the company I work for, and become a partner. He was saying that he�s started out with nothing three times, and never wants to do that again. It�s going to cost him millions of dollars � apparently the figure looked more like a telephone number than a sum of money � but he will use his share of company profits to pay it off, and eventually he will start profiting from it himself. Then he said something that made me laugh:

�You know, one day I want to be able to walk into a store and say, �I want one of those,� and when they say to me, �but don�t you want to know how much it costs?� I�ll say, �nup, don�t care how much it costs, just give it to me.� Right now I can only do that with cupcakes.�

I got my last three assignments back for my proofreading & editing course last night. I was actually quite surprised with the results, though Daniel wasn�t. I got High Distinctions for all three, with nary a negative comment from my tutor. In fact, I�d go almost as far as to say �glowing�.

I always did well with my studies. Right through uni, for both my degrees, my average was Distinction/High Distinction, and yet I was surprised every time. I felt like such a fraud. Every time I handed in an essay I�d think, �Oh, no � this is it. I�m going to get caught this time. They�re finally going to realise that my work is substandard, and I�m going to fail.� Once I was absolutely convinced that I�d failed a subject altogether, but Daniel just laughed at me and said, �as if you�d fail a subject. You�ll probably be the top of the class, Little Miss High Distinction.� �No, I won�t! You don�t understand, I think I did really badly in the final exam. My essays were terrible.� �You always say that!� And of course I got an HD for it, after I was so worried that I was going to fail.

Other people in my course, people who had a much more thorough grasp of the subject matter than I did, would struggle to get passes and credits. The only explanation I could come up with for my marks was that I�m good at writing essays � I can pick out relevance from irrelevance*, I can use the right words and structure to make a cohesive argument, I can spell, and most importantly, I seem to have a way of working out exactly what it is that the lecturer wants � and really, at university, that alone is enough to get you by. One of my lecturers once told me he thought I had the best essay writing style in my course of over 60 students, and yet every time I got high marks I was still surprised. I guess I�m a bit slow that way.

* But not in my diary!

Well, wasn�t that a fun combination of humility and bleating!

Anyway, for those interested, the bird in my last entry was a sulphur-crested cockatoo.

Some cockatoo information sites for the bored and curious:

http://www.faunanet.gov.au/wos/factfile.cfm?Fact_ID=433
http://www.birdsnways.com/mowen/sc2.htm
http://www.ecan.govt.nz/Our+Environment/Pests+and+Weeds/Potential+Pest+List/Sulphur-crested-cockatoo.htm
http://animal-world.com/encyclo/birds/cockatoos/greatersulphur.php

They�re pretty common in Australia, they fly around in huge flocks and make a lot of noise. Though I must admit we don�t get them up on our balcony very often. Still, if you crazy American types liked the cockatoo, you�d love one of our other birds. They�re similar to cockatoos but they�re pink and grey. They�re called galahs (pronounced gul-LAAH, in the broadest Aussie accent you can muster). Yes I am serious!

Final bit of Australiana for this entry�

Is it an otter? Is it a duck? No! It�s � a platypus! (This guy has a lot of good photos of native animals � it�s worth poking around his site.)

Anyway, I�m going to go and waste time elsewhere. Night, and Happy Australia Day!