I went for the interview, where I somehow seemed to say all the right things and have all the right skills. My interviewers talked me up like only managers (well, managing editors) could: "...has her own portfolio of clients..." (All I said was that I create layouts to customer specs, and that I liaise with customers a lot over the phone. I am so very certainly going to go with their choice of wording next time I update my r�sum�.)

Oh, oh, get this: they graded my r�sum�. Who else but a bunch of book editors would do that? Can you imagine how distracting it is when you are sitting in an interview for a competitive position - an interview for which you have practically studied, coming up with answers to questions that you have been asked in interviews in the past (like "why should we hire YOU?" or "why do you want to work for us?" or "strengths/weaknesses?" or "what's your view on management styles?" or any other number of questions that I was never even asked in the end anyway) - and you peer over and notice that the three interviewers' copies of your r�sum� all have "B+ - yes" scribbled on them?

I can only assume that B+ is pretty good, coming from a managing editor. Right? I mean, I had to try not to think about it too much at the time, especially since I was always an A student at school and uni. Still, what's the step from B+ to A-? Would it have been so much to ask for them to give me some leeway and just go the A-?

Anyway, that was Wednesday morning, and they said they'd be in touch by the end of the week. I then went to work.

For two days I didn't sleep properly, I felt distracted and grouchy and nervous and all sorts of unpleasant ways. Well, I was up and down. I would go from normal to churning in seconds.

I've never felt so anxious about a job before. I think I really needed this, though. I needed to prove to myself that I could get a job like this on my own, because frankly the prospect of staying at my present job was depressing me. There is no career path here. No promotion to aim for, no title to be had other than "Graphics Clerk", nothing. And I'm not even interested in trucks. I felt like I was wasting my time.

Friday was the worst. It was getting later and later and I still hadn't heard back. At 3pm I decided to just ring them and ask - I mean, at least I was showing initiative, maybe that would help my chances, if it didn't piss them off that I was second-guessing them.

No answer. I left a message.

I then had to speak to my boss about what he's doing about placing a job ad. I told him 6 weeks ago that I was going to start looking for a new job. At the time it was going to be a part-time job so I could help Daniel with our business (now we're considering employing a uni student instead - that way if Posterboy falls on hard times we still have two incomes - we lived on one income for over six months and it's nicer to be back on two). It was interesting because I had asked my manager last year if I could go down to four days a week and it was a flat-out no. This time, when I said, "I'm leaving", he offered to take on a new person, whom I would train, and then after a couple of months I could go down to four days, then after a couple more months down to two or three, and phase myself out. Over EIGHT MONTHS. That's a long time. I said I'd think about it, and two days later said that in eight weeks I wanted to be down to three days a week (really not such a huge deal - my job is not that hard so it's not going to take someone two months to be able to get the basics of it, particularly if I am still coming in two days a week to answer questions). Six weeks later, still no trainee person.

Anyway, in our meeting when I mentioned that it had been six weeks, he looked a bit surprised, as expected. The conclusion, though, was that they would try to find someone to replace me so that I could train them, but if I needed to leave sooner, then I should do that and they would make do without me.

It also became apparent that the guy had no idea about career aspirations. He honestly thought that if not for Posterboy, I would have kept working there forever. After all, all we want is money, right? (I do get looked after quite well, financially, particularly considering how little I really do.)

By the time I left work there was still no word from the publishers, but in my determination I put on my hands-free kit just in case they called while I was driving home.

They called at five to five and offered me the job.

So I was excited, of course! My legs went numb as I was driving on the motorway.

People have been very happy for me. I went shopping with mum and bought new clothes so I could fit into the business-casual environment there, as I do not have many businesslike clothes.

Daniel's family congratulated me when we went there for dinner on Friday evening, as did their friends who were also there. One of their friends has just started a job in a Government department, on an income not much higher than my new salary (I am taking a pay cut, but what do you expect when you change fields?), but being a Government job, you know the pay will go up every year, and it sounds pretty cushy.

I have felt alternately excited, nervous and awful this weekend. I hate the idea of giving only two and a half weeks' notice. I always wanted to give at least four. Because my role is unique within the company, the only person who could train up a potential replacement is me. If I up and leave (as I am going to do), I know what is going to happen. The General Manager is going to have to do it himself, and he is busy enough with the recent purchase of another company, problems we are having with overseas suppliers, and big problems we are having with a potential new partner in India. I feel horrible. Everyone I have asked has said, "legally you only have to give them a week." Yes, well, legally they only have to pay me enough so that I don't fall below the poverty line, but they're much nicer than that, so why can't I be?

Am I being realistic here? I mean, unless you are applying for a graduate job somewhere (for example in Canberra), where they go through about six months of selection processes before offering a role that commences four months after that, you are not going to be able to give more than three or four weeks' notice at best. Normally when a company advertises for a new employee, it's because they need someone NOW, not because they might need someone in three months.

I have to hand in my resignation letter tomorrow, telling them that my last day will be the first of May. I'm sure I will feel great once it is done and I have had that Awkward Talk with my boss, but for now I am uncomfortable and I feel so guilty at the prospect of doing this to him.

Daniel says I am just depriving myself of the chance to be happy about this.

I *am* happy. I just feel like an awful person.

Anyway, the job itself: as the Media Services Assistant, I will be reporting to the senior editors at this publishing company, I think pretty much doing the part of their job that is kind of lower on their long list of priorities but still needs to be done. For example, I might get to write up a table of contents for a book here and there, or do some basic proofreading and collating, or if they need copies of a manuscript I might have to organise for their photocopying guy to get me three copies, or whatever. Like any job I know if, it's not that glamorous when you analyse it, but the opportunity is huge.

Now that I have spent so long typing this, I have stopped feeling so anxious. I think I might have some breakfast.