It went something like this:

[Me sitting at my desk for half an hour, waiting for the sales dude to get out of the General Manager's office. Couldn't he see I had something important to do?]

[Sales dude finally leaves GM's office.]

[I feel a flush of guilt and something else that I can't quite identify as I stand up and pick up the resignation letter that is sitting, neatly folded, on my desk. I take a deep breath and wander into GM's office.]

GM: Hey, morning.
Me: Morning...
GM: What's up? [Stuffs a couple of biscuits in his mouth as he speaks.]
Me: [Starts to hand the letter over.]
GM: [Through biscuit] What's this?
Me: My resignation. [*shock! horror! how will he react?*]
GM: [Still through biscuit - it was a big mouthful] Oh, right. [Looks at date on resignation letter, then at his watch.]
Me: [Trying not to sound like I'm babbling] ...I thought I'd do this first thing Monday morning so it was done, and to give you time to think about it and forget about it. And because I've ben making myself sick all weekend over it.
GM: [Looking at me as though I'm crazy] Why?

Then there was a 30-second conversation in which he pretty much told me what he wanted me to make sure I did before I left, and that was it. Everything immediately went back to normal.

OK, yes, I was hugely relieved. Until I sat back down at my desk and thought: couldn't he have looked just a *bit* put out?

I know: there's just no pleasing some people. And I suppose he did have six weeks' warning, and I made him aware of the possibility of my leaving every week. So now I just have to wait out the last couple of weeks, and enjoy the bittersweet conflicting emotions.

- I am leaving a well-paid, cushy job where I have been looked after for three years.
- I am going to stop having a Job and start having a Career. I have something to aim for now.

- I will miss the people I work with here.
- I will finally work at a company where there are some people my own age.

- It isn't that bad here.
- Next time you are with a group of friends and they say, "what are you doing with yourself these days?" what are you going to tell them?

...and so on.

I know I'm not the first person to leave a job, so I just try to live with it. I try to remind myself that it is better to leave a job thinking that I will miss it, than to leave a job thinking I wasted three years of my life there.

They never made it clear to us in high school that achieving anything in life means taking risks. They never told us that sometimes you just need to step off the edge and hope your parachute opens.

I have learnt - at least I think I have learnt - that I thrive on challenges. I never really thought of myself as one of those people, but I do. Or, if nothing else, I thrive on achievements. Getting papers back with glowing remarks written on them. Now that I am no longer studying, I need that in my work.

I think.

I hope.