Well, not so much with the shit. Only when it's mine, and even then only under limited circumstances.

But linguistics? I enjoy it. I read a book on historical linguistics on my honeymoon. I can hardly walk past the old books on the English language at the second-hand book shop. This is a hobby for me.

So why is it that as soon as I decide to formalise this interest by signing up for a postgraduate degree whose fabulous cost will prevent me from owning that small nuclear missile I had my eye on (it's my birthday next week, by the way) - I find myself procrastinating like this?

Last weekend I was supposed to be working on an essay. You know what I did instead? Made gingerbread hippos.

(This revelation may explain my crumbling tooth.)

I got a lecturer's blessing earlier this week to analyse jokes for my major essay. In terms of possible essay topics, this one is surely a firework of hot molten awesome that has just exploded in slow motion from the mouth of Mount St BOOYAH. (Please bear in mind that my undergraduate studies included subjects like 'The international political economy' so the fact that I don't have to use the words 'aggregate demand' in anything, ever, still helps me sleep at night.)

And yet, knowing me, I will instead be on Twitter complaining that my neighbours' kids should be in bed by now, or on Diaryland rabbiting on about how I procrastinate instead of writing essays about 'knock-knock' jokes, or possibly sticking edible silver cachous into amusingly-shaped biscuits. Anything rather than being stuck reading about stuff I'm interested in. Please, not that!

Anyway, speaking of 'booyah', here is something Alyssa Milano said on Twitter about farts recently (I can't believe I've written a sentence that contains that assortment of words and it actually makes sense):

There are two types of people in this world. People who think farts are funny and people that don't.

I think farts are hilarious. They're God's way of saying: "Oh yeah? You think u're cool? (Fart) Booyah! How about now?"

Amen! Nothing like a soggy bass note to get the day started.

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Things that made me happy this weekend:

- Watching Little Shop of Horrors on TV for the first time. We did it as a musical when I was in high school so the songs brought back happy memories, plus Steve Martin was made for the role of Orin.

- Listening to the first book in Bernard Cornwell's Saxon Stories series, set in 9th century England, about a young English ealdorman who is captured by the Danes in a battle in Northumbria and brought up Danish. It's all based on real historical places and events (fictionalised for my listening pleasure), so it's also helping to familiarise me with a period in history that I've always wanted to learn more about, but didn't know where to start. (Yes, and you thought I was a nerd merely based on the fact that I took a linguistics book on my honeymoon for fun.) The narrator's northern English accent is a nice touch, particularly when he voices the character's father, who ends up sounding a lot like Gene Hunt from one of the best series ever aired on TV.