Now you see, with ph4t organisational skills like these, where was my invitation to help organise this year's Commonwealth Games?

Anyway, here are some of the things you have missed in the wonderful world of Marzipan in the past year or so:

Gardening. (I hope you were sitting down when you read that. I'm sorry if the sheer overload of excitement knocked you off your feet and sat on your face. I should be more careful when I type these entries.)

Applying snail pellets to said garden. (OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY. Here, let me help you up. I thought that last paragraph served as a warning of the thrills that were to come.)

Master of Applied Linguistics, part-time*. Nearly halfway through it now - one more year to go and then my opinions on anything to do with the way language works will be officially more important than yours. I'll have the bit of paper to prove it. My ignorance will be scantily clad in erotic paper certifipants.

* Turns out that this is the part of the time when you're supposed to be asleep.

Work.
Yeah.

Other stuff: I chipped a tooth in my sleep last night. Or possibly the Tooth Fairy came and hacked a piece off to pay off some debts she ran up while in Vegas, I don't know.

Because I haven't been on Diaryland for so long, I just read through some of my older entries. Some of them made me laugh out loud. In a sense that is nice, but in a sense laughing at my own jokes when nobody else is there is probably not a promising sign for my post-retirement years, especially if I'm already losing teeth at 28.

This is one of the funniest and most sheepishly apologetic pictures I have ever seen on an academic's webpage. 'Eh, sorry, I'm your lecturer. But whatcha gonna do?'

Well, this has been fun! I should do it more often. (Actually, thanks Portly and buggerthat for the prod.) But in case this turns out to not be the entry that reignites my love of talking rubbish at length, here is where I do it in 140-character fun-size chunks.

Everybody wants my chunks.