Somebody took this photo just before we went out onto the field at paintball. For some reason I liked it, and here it is. I have no editing software on this computer so I had to use Photobucket to resize it for me to one of its (smaller-than-I'd-really-like) standard sizes. I'm the one on the right, with Daniel next to me.

Secretly I think I like it because my vain inner mind was pleased at the illusion that I didn't look like an Oompa Looma when actually I did. The suit bulged out in the middle and the crotch sat somewhere just above me knees.

OK, the Dog Story.

The other day when I went to visit my family, my sister unlocked the screen door for me and I stepped inside. Normally Coco (the dog) would run up to me, then crouch down in anxious anticipation of that first pat whilst dribbling pee all over the floor and/or my shoes. This time, however, I was not given such a warm reception. In fact, the dog acted as though I were some sort of intruder and barked accordingly.

YARF!

The warning bark.

The get-off-the-premises-before-I-call-security bark.

I was mostly entertained but partly hurt, since I'm always nice to Coco when I visit. This seemed odd. I took another step forward but the dog's insane yapping continued, with both of her boggly chihuahua eyes narrowed and fixed on me - like you might see some eighty-year-old lady do as she reaches behind her for the phone to call the police.

My sister and I turned to each other and said exactly the same thing: "What have you DONE to the dog??"

Anyway, at this point Coco finally started to come towards me, though whether as a friend or foe I didn't know. So I did what any normal person would do: I made a sudden movement and a loud noise just to see what would happen.

"BAH!"

The dog freaked out. She looked terrified - in her startled panic, she leapt a foot and a half in the air (no mean feat for a midget dog like Coco), did a mid-air backflip and barrel roll at the same time ...

... and pissed herself.

In mid-air.

It sprayed EVERYWHERE. It was like a garden sprinkler. I have never seen my sister laugh so hard.

The dog landed like a sack, scrambled to her feet, then trotted up to me for her pat like normal.

Weird. But funny.